Funny things in January

I really have to get the hang of this blog-thing. I had the idea that I would write each and every time my kids said something funny. I don't have the time to sit at the computer all day long. They really are just THAT funny!  So, here are a few snippets from January.

Jan 1:  Mike was working so the kids and I stayed up late to watch the infamous ball drop.  After the countdown and the official ball-dropping, Dick Clark leaned over and kissed his wife. Not a peck. No no no. But a passionate embrace of a man that clearly loves his wife.  Ruby looks at me and says “Oh, man, GROSS. Why do have to look at that?” I told her that they were married and it was ok for them to kiss like that. She replied, “I shuldn’t have to look at it.”  Good to know my little princess isn’t a fan of the PDA. I think…

Jan 7: So, Ruby asked if we could have a family prayer tonight. I am very bad Mormon when it comes to this...so, I said yes. She offered to say it. Ended a little something like this "Please bless that we will have a good night's sleep. Please bless that we will have fun tomorrow. Please bless that Gizzy will stop mounting the duck...."

Jan 8: There was a commercial for the Grammy’s on. Sufficed to say, the woman they showed was scantily clad. I made mention that the girl’s boobies were about to fall out of the dress. Colin says,”I wish they would!”  I immediately chastised him by yelling sternly and disappointedly, “COLIN!” He says, “Sorry. I wish they would have.”

Jan 13: Colin (on Spongebob): This show has way too much nudity.

Jan 13: Today in the car Ruby was looking at my driver's license. She was asking question after question. "What's this date for?" "What's this mean?" etc... She said with shock (and frankly, I think a little disgust) "What is this?" I said "Sex? It's female." She said, "Oh good, I thought it meant fail."

Jan  23: Ruby and I sang, with the help of a very talented one Miss Johanna, a medley of Teach Me to Walk in the Light and I Believe in Christ. It was very beautiful. As we returned to our pew, Colin leaned in and said "Ruby was amazing! And, oh yeah, you were ok too, Mom."  I said "Gee. Thanks."  He said, "Let's face it mom, it ain't about you. It was all Ruby today."  Oh I love that kid!

 Everyday is funny. Funnier than the day before. Mostly we receive laughter from our adorable children. But, the one of the things in life I love the most is the fact that Mike makes me laugh. Daily.  The other night Mike was talking in his sleep. The other night he "woke up" angry and chastised me in gibberish. I heard "Blah blah....Don't chew on my guitar! mumble mumble...I don't want to ask again".  I played along telling him I was sorry I was hungry.  He yelled "go to the fridge:.  I had nothing else to say. It was 2am and I couldn't stop laughing!  

Christmas Time

I love this time of year. (note sarcasm) The kids ask constantly when the tree is going up. To which I reply, "When is your room going to be clean?"  They see a commercial and it is something they MUST have. Apparently my Christmas list consists of Pillow Pets and Bendaroos and Zhu-Zhu pets.  Interesting, all are infomercials. They hear a Christmas song, and we all know how much I love Christmas music, sing it non-stop, and of course, they only know a portion of the chorus and 5 words of a verse.  Now I am stuck listening to a snippet of a song I hated to begin with but now detest.  They want hot powdered apple cider with every snack/meal and they feel the desire to dress the animals.  Which wouldn't be so bad, except the cat really doesn't like it. Can you say "where are the band-aids?".

It is now the second day of Hanukkah, I think. We aren't Jewish, but the kids are fascinated with the idea of getting 8 presents.  Who wouldn't be? Just this morning Dixon wished he could be Jewish so he could receive 8 presents. When I mentioned to him that he usually gets more than that in his stocking (and I am thinking anything from Hot Wheels to Lego to video games) he replied that he only received small gifts but if he was Jewish he would get 8 big ones, like 8 go-carts! Oh, to be young again.  On the way home from the grocery store Ruby pointed out that everybody loves to decorate their houses for Christmas. This sparked a conversation about how not everyone celebrates Christmas. Ruby said that that was because the other people celebrate Hanukkah. I informed her that some people just celebrate the art of giving during the Christmas season and some people don't celebrate anything at all.  After a long "Family Guy" whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? She said, "That is sad. Everyone should celebrate Christmas because everyone needs to be happy!"  It's nice that the Christmas season can bring so much joy! I wish I still had a little bit of kid-like joy during the holidays!  But, then again, the kids don't have to shop in big long lines with obnoxious people.

My tree is not up and my Christmas shopping will not begin until the 22nd. Yes, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Here we go!

It has come to my attention that my children are funny. I have known this. I spend a lot of my waking hours laughing. All kids are funny. But, mine are a special kind of funny. I have tried to keep a journal over the years with the humorous repartee, but have been unsuccessful. Then, along came Facebook.  I can make a post from time to time of the funny things they say, but to find it again is nearly impossible. So, now, there’s a blog. We’ll give it a shot and see how long it lasts.